


Hard Habits

by GalekhXigisi



Series: Too Late [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pregnancy, References to Depression, Self-Destruction, Sort of miscarriage, Trans Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:01:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18493798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Wow this made me sad UwUMy other cat had her kittens so we now have 10 kittens in all. Please tell me someone wants them. We can't keep them. Blease.Big DT to everyone that commented "How dare you" on the other chapterStill not a venting fic, either!Please join my Discord server!https://discord.gg/eGkwayy





	Hard Habits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RuskanLintu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuskanLintu/gifts), [HesitantAlien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HesitantAlien/gifts).



Klaus’ silence had invaded the already far too silent home. There seemed to be no sounds leaving him, not hums or whimpers. Deep, colorless eyes were the only pass off to human life still left in him, which was honestly more than just disheartening. The man was now a boy, a boy that was no longer happy, no longer focused on anything at all. Instead, he seems to have fallen off the face of the earth mentally. 

 

Klaus Hargreeves was ever fully  _ there,  _ to begin with. He could never give a straight answer to anything. He could be blunt, yes, but it never came out properly. When he had commented about Claire, he had never actually given a full reply if he was actually going to meet her or not, though there were enough subtle hints to at least know he actively  _ wanted _ to. The closest thing Allison had ever gotten to that was when Klaus had called her on accident and claimed, _ Once I get sober, I want to meet Claire, if that’s not an issue with you. _ Unfortunately for him, he was promptly hung up on by his sister, who had immediately turned to her husband and fussed for hours on end. The last he had heard from him, it was at their wedding when he hadn’t even given an answer if he would come or not. In fact, he had shown up half an hour later than he should have, clad in a wedding-like dress and a smirk. He had never once been against showing off himself as being feminine,  _ ever. _

 

There were never exactly any straight answers with Ben or Diego, either, the two that had been closest with him lost in the blur of Klaus’ ridiculous personality. When he was on drugs, he was somewhat predictable. He went with the worst options that meant getting things done the quickest. He had often even voiced that  _ The Klaus Way is just the dumb way but faster _ when they were younger. Then again, after Five’s disappearance and Ben’s death, there had been a stark change to Klaus and a suddenly higher bill for drugs. After that, things had actively become horrible for his health. Even when he was sober, there were a lot of things that could or could not happen, though those sober times have been so few and far between that no one could tell anymore. 

 

When he’s sober, it’s a toss-up of if he’ll be upset or not. His moral compass, just like Five’s, is a fucking roulette wheel. It changed so suddenly that there was often a new level of worry. No one ever knew if he was suddenly going to summon an army of ghosts or sit silently in the living room with his family for hours at a time with literally nothing leaving him. It didn’t help that he was experimenting with his powers as often as he could, lulling out ghosts to do his bidding with a telepathic connection. Even the worst of the ghosts had become slaves to Klaus. He was, ultimately, just as strong as Vanya. If he wanted to slay the world within milliseconds, all he had to do was to tell his ghost army to spread the word and it would be done within a  _ snap _ of his fingers. He didn’t have to play a seven-minute song on a violin like Vanya did or get control of the beasts inside of him like Ben did or leave a solid opening to anyone and everyone attacking while building up power as even Five did. Instead, he just had to send out a simple  _ thought. _

 

The world was honestly at the boy’s mercy, there for him to experiment with. Yet, he never dared think anything of the such. In fact, he seemed more deadset on saving the world than ending it. Everyone’s opinions of him mattered more than he ever cared to admit. While everyone thought he was distant and rather asinine, he was instead just attempting to somehow earn a higher up opinion on himself than he thought he had. He required the best of everyone’s opinions, ranking the most popular, the  _ go-to _ guy. There was a constant push to be over the top. 

 

Klaus knows exactly why he needed the affection, needed the acknowledgment. He’s the  _ Family Failure, _ the only one ever used for  _ the worst example. _ Even their first time around, Klaus could never be on top. Even Vanya was ranked higher than he was. She had stronger powers, more of a will to live, cleaner blood. Klaus was the last to finalize his ability. Vanya wasn’t the first, no, but she was damn near it. Luther had been first,  _ then _ Vanya, and so on until Allison got down the right wording and Klaus was left in the dust, haunted and with no way to actually prove it. Hell, his family hadn’t even  _ actually _ believed him until he was ten and screamed because  _ the boy on TV is right here, V! You’ve got to believe me! He’s got a chain around his neck and he’s all bloody, too! _ Vanya had scowled but Reginald finally had proof of Klaus’ genuine powers. 

 

The silence, though, is more than just a little unsettling. The silence was never welcomed, not when Klaus was the untold mediator that somehow managed to distract his siblings long enough that they didn’t end up having a full-on brawl in front of everyone. In more than just one interview, he had been the one to keep Diego from stabbing a reporter or Luther from wringing someone’s neck. He kept Five leveled and was enough of a comfort to Ben that anxiety didn’t really get in the way. Even with Vanya when their father was being too harsh and she was an absolute mess that could barely get a word out, he would take a stand, no matter the consequences. More than once, he had seen the backlash his father caused by it. Allison had reached out with her rumoring in multiple attempts to help, even if it ended with Klaus comforting her instead. He never seemed to mind. She was his company, after all. 

 

The silence was like hospitals to the Hargreeves children. It meant that the fight was typically over, yes, but it also meant that there was something  _ wrong. _ Between seven children, a chimp, a robot, and a man that took document of everything, silence had become uncommon, especially with Klaus being the one to  _ always _ cause noise, often joined with Ben or Diego and occasionally Vanya if the girl was feeling up to it. Now, though, Klaus sat in silence. Vanya mourns her skills daily, her original violin sat in a display case while a plain one adorned her handmanship. It never worked as well as her original, but she was superstitious, after all. Ben and Diego were mourning as well. They mourn the loss of a sibling, despite him still being there, still being physical and  _ alive. _ Klaus was no longer the third pea in their pod and it had become a painful issue. Luther mourned future prospects for positives. He knew what his father was like now and knew it meant things would be incredibly different. Five mourns his freedom. There was no such thing in the Umbrella Academy. And Allison mourns her daughter and ex-husband. No one blames her, though. They all have something they miss. 

 

Klaus is slow to open up. Even with his new powers blossoming and his father’s approval to both his sudden silence and sobering up as well as effort to his training, he  _ can’t _ be happy. Often times, his siblings find him wandering around the home. His footsteps are either silent or he’s hovering with that telekinesis he uses just fine now as if he had always had it and never once been drugged up to the point that he actually completely forgot about it. There are so many different things now, all of which Klaus has seemingly accepted just fine. 

 

Now, though, he sits in the living room or more so hovers in. The television is tiny and the six other siblings all squeeze around to watch it. Klaus, though, just hovers, both in the literal and non-sense of the word. He lets out a sudden huff, voice strained as he quietly pipes up, “I need to talk to you guys.” It’s almost silent, but the television had yet to be turned on and the others were practically silent on their own as  _ The Horror _  obeying fully moves the antenna to get the best signal. 

 

They’re all slow to turn, mostly because Klaus’ voice was so much different now. It was higher pitched and not worn out from years of self-abuse. Hell, he even had a bit of an accent still that would knowingly fade within a few years. No one knew where the accent originated from, but they all had their suspicions that it was the angry ghosts that constantly grabbed at him. 

 

Diego moves to sit down on the couch, Ben following. The Kraken softly speaks, “Yeah, buddy, what’s been going on? We’re here to listen.” The others move to follow his lead as Klaus floats down, settling on the floor with his hands folded over his stomach. Ben, Diego, and Vanya are all stacked on a couch, Luther and Allison on the other while Five sits in the armchair, leaning to the side as passively as he can. THey all intently focus on the one in the middle who breathes calmly, even if it sounds shallow and painful. 

 

“So, I was kidnapped by Hazel and Cha-Cha, those time-traveling assassins or whatever that went after Five. I also died a bunch of times, but don’t worry, I clearly got better.” If it were any other moment, that would have sounded more like a joke, but it’s said in such a dry, disinterested tone that they don’t actually know how to respond to it. “I stole their time-traveling briefcase and all that. It wasn’t exactly a fun story, but Ben was with me for most of it. Well, until I got zapped to nineteen sixty-eight, that is.” 

 

Ben nods along, a frown on his features as he listens to the other speak. If they’re all being technical,  _ Klaus _ is the youngest, so they listen to the youngest speak, attempting to be as in tune with him as they can, but they’re clearly finding it a little hard. Vanya sports a neutral expression that’s justing hinting at worry. Luther and Five clearly both seem to be attempting to digest it despite already knowing. Allison has a raised brow. And Diego seemed to be on the brink of an anxiety attack out of pure worry. He processing it rougher than the others. Ben, though, keeps a schooled expression, knowing  _ most _ of the story already. The key word, however, was  _ most _ in this situation. 

 

“Testosterone isn’t exactly available in Vietnam during a world war to a somewhat small fleet of soldiers, so you can sort of see my dilemma here. Thankfully, though, they all seemed pretty cool with it.” It’s still so dry, sounding as if Klaus hadn’t even been the one to say it himself. “Had a boyfriend, a  _ fiance, _ actually. We owned a strip joint together and we were an amazing power couple, apparently. We brought in a big buck or whatever. It was certainly a living.” He huffs. “I watched him die right in front of me. Ben wasn’t there. Ben hadn’t even been  _ considered _ to ever exist yet. Well, in his defense, none of our parents ever actually wanted us, especially me, clearly, because I was found dead in a gutter with a little sticky note for old papa Hargreeves.” 

 

They’re all reeling still. Klaus’ voice is too plain, too  _ dry. _ It’s far from  _ fun _ or  _ okay. _ It clearly looks much more like a desperate plea to just end his life instead of letting him carry on. They  _ sincerely _ hope that it isn’t actually that. None of them knew how they would be able to handle it if it was. That would mean a lot more emotional damage than they already had; which was it’s own hefty amount respectively to each of them, even Luther included. Klaus was always sure to make that clear, even if he didn’t like Luther that much. He sure as Hell was quick to forgive and follow. 

 

“The last thing I said to him before he died was, and I quote,  _ “well, I’m sort of pregnant.” _ And then he fucking died right beside me.” There’s such a bitter scoff to it. “Allison, you once asked at your wedding if anyone knew what it was like to  _ actually _ love someone, that you would  _ actually _ die for them, give your  _ all _ for them, that being away from them felt like you were literally  _ suffocating. _ I didn’t know then. I  _ really _ didn’t know then. But… I’m not exactly pregnant now and the only man that I ever  _ actually _ loved is dead… What the  _ Hell _ am I supposed to do now?” 

 

He looks up at her, his eyes leaking tears slowly. And Allison… Allison doesn’t know what to do. She really  _ doesn’t. _ There wasn’t exactly therapy available for the children and it wasn’t as if they could blab about it all to the others all of a sudden. They couldn’t tell the world that  _ oh, yeah, Vanya Hargreeves is going to destroy the world. _ They all have to learn to deal, to mourn, and to live with it. 

 

Allison lets the tears roll down her face, too. She shrugs, slow and painful as her shoulders rise and fall starkly. Her bottom lip and chin quiver as she lets out a sob. “I… I don’t  _ know, _ Klaus. You can’t just  _ move on. _ Learn to live with is the only thing I can do and… I don’t _ know. _ All of our relationships can still happen but…” 

 

There’s a painful memory to Ben that raises from the ground like a zombie. It’s the way Klaus’ face drops like it had when Ben appeared before him while Sir was attempting to  _ “revive” _ him in the other room. It’s familiar and just as much hurtful as it was all that time ago. That had been  _ years _ ago. It was suddenly fresh in his mind within an instant. 

 

Klaus sniffles, wiping his face. He moves on with topics, laying back down. “I’m sober now, too,” he mumbles, “as in  _ actually _ sober all the time. There’s no weed or PZP or anything. Just that stupid ADD medicine dad put me on when I was a kid that never really worked that well. So they’re  _ constantly _ in my face at all times. They still scream and beg for help but… They’re tamer now. They keep their distance until I sleep. I have control over them, though, so that’s pretty cool, I guess.” 

 

A soft sigh leaves Klaus, slow and jagged. It’s halted by a sudden huff that follows a sniffle. “I need you guys to do one thing. Just… Keep me from ruining myself, that’s it. I’m not saying turning back to drugs. I’m not doing that, but… Self-harm and stuff… It’s going to be an issue. Plus, with all these powers and the ghosts likely to come awake at night, I’ll wake up with scratches and stuff. I’m not saying monitor my sleep like Dad does, but just make sure I’m not dead in the mornings, okay?” 

 

Tears leak down cheeks. There wasn’t much to say. What _ could _ they say? They had to accept it, that was just  _ that, _ but it didn’t make it any easier. It never would be, ever was. Klaus was already down the rabbit hole and all the Hargreeves knew it. Not the drug rabbit hole. He had hopped out and found a different one. He was on his way to self-destructing as Vanya had. With Klaus’ telekinesis, they knew he could do just as much damage as Vanya, if not  _ more. _ It didn’t help that he had already been admitted to a mental asylum for exhaustion, depression, suicidal tendencies, and anxiety. It was all just overwhelming and they  _ needed _ to help. The Hargreeves siblings were prepared to give their life up within an  _ instant _ if it came down to it. 

 

But were they too late? How far had Klaus already strayed? 

 

Only time could actually tell. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow this made me sad UwU
> 
> My other cat had her kittens so we now have 10 kittens in all. Please tell me someone wants them. We can't keep them. Blease.
> 
> Big DT to everyone that commented "How dare you" on the other chapter 
> 
> Still not a venting fic, either!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Please join my Discord server!  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy
> 
>  


End file.
